From despising conventionality to chasing unconventional aspirations

I don’t know what I want in the next 5 years, but I certainly do know what I don’t want.

What do you want to do in the next 5 years?

Honestly, I don’t know. Can anyone know? I personally find this question completely baseless. Sometimes it is even hard to decide what I would eat the next morning. Imagine the people who had earth-shatteringly big dreams for 2020 and 2021. And then came the pandemic. Rest is history. So, what’s the point?

If you are resistant to change, or do not accept possibilities beyond your caged thoughts, or do not make peace with the unsought diversions in your “properly-laid-out-life-plan”, you would be left much, much behind in your journey. The only way to move ahead is “adapting” –accepting changes and believing that anything and everything is possible.

Therefore, I no longer know where I see myself in the next 5 years. Because there’s no one place I want to see myself. There’s no one thing I want to do. There are many. I have always been a rebel in that way –very adamant about what I want, despised conventionalities of the world to the core, owned my flaws (& scars), and always, always, cherished the taste of independence & equality.

I sometimes wish normalization was easy. It would have made the world around us more accepting of the realities of others. I have never, in fact, liked the idea of keeping myself within a box of laid out definitions or predefined set of goals, ideas, and opinions. My beliefs and aspirations have kept reforming as I grew up, as I got more exposure to the world and people around.

I saw education is not about scoring 100% in exams but knowing how to behave responsibly and take care of those around you when the entire world is locked down in a pandemic (sadly, empathy is not taught in the school syllabus). I witnessed that degrees cannot guarantee success in your job. But perseverance, determination, and networking can. Simultaneously, it is also okay to leave one’s high-paying job, only to pursue one’s hobby.

I realized marriage is not a milestone. It’s okay to live life without a partner, it is a choice and should need not be pursued because one’s family urges that’s what everyone does after education. And, for god’s sake, not every woman wants to be a mother, nor every man wants to be a father. Different people have different aspirations, and it needs to be respected.

I have nothing against people who want these, like getting married, having kids, enjoying a high-paying job, or owning every high-street brand in the world. But none of us should define the “normal” for the other. Whatever suits one, is normal for them.

I, in fact, used to be a “bucket list” person. But now, poof! I revisited my bucket list a week ago (something I had written a couple of years back) and now they don’t even make sense to me anymore. I guess that’s what happens when you grow, you evolve, and so does your aspirations and belief system. It is neither good nor bad, but it is much needed.

Anyway, coming back to the point, I do not know what I want in the next 5 years. But I certainly do know what I do not want (if that helps).

I know I do not want to own a luxurious home or a fancy car. I do not want to splurge in exuberant restaurants or posh parties. It’s okay if I don’t have an elusive, big designation at my workplace. I do not want to own a closet full of Louboutin and Gucci. Materials and materialistic ambitions don’t seem to excite me anymore.

And this has helped me know, what I do want, not in the 5 years or 10 years, but every year until I am alive. I want to see the world and live an experiential life.

I want to live a life filled with — colors of beautiful landscapes, the excitement of exploring a new country or a beautiful hillside cafe, the evolution of diverse cultures, personal accomplishments, meaningful conversations, and the feeling of joy wherever I set foot on this planet.

Why am I telling you this? Because it is okay to not want what most of us want. It is okay to not want to pursue the conventional path of gloating happiness that everyone wants to claim. Your aspirations should be solely defined by what makes you happy, no matter how unconventional they sound. I know mine is. What about you?

This was originally published on Times of India Reader’s Blog.