“Our 20s Are For Figuring Things Out.” Are They?
In my 20s, I frequently came across the sentiment that our 20s are meant for self-discovery. The 20s are for making mistakes and figuring life out. But I think when I turn 40, I’ll say the same about my 30s. Honestly, there’s no ‘age’ to decoding life, right? Some are lucky enough to figure it out early, some take longer, and some (like me) are still figuring things out — one day at a time.
I’ve come to realize that you can keep figuring out life as long you believe you can…as long as you want to.
It’s normal to sometimes feel stagnated about where you are in life and it’s even harder to feel good about yourself when you find everyone else “way ahead” of you, whether in money, relationships, or career. But here’s a reminder: you get to define “success” in whatever way you want.
We are living in such an ‘achievement-focused, goal-driven world, where most of us only share what’s going right for us.
We conveniently avoid talking about our difficult days— what went absolutely wrong for us, what’s the toll on our health/mind, or what did we lose along the way. They might not be considered Instagram-worthy. But they are an important part of the achievement too, even though we don’t shed light on them because we ascribe too much attention to success.
This doesn’t mean we’ll not celebrate our achievements. We should. But it’s also important to remember achievements don’t keep us warm at night or make us better than others. The trajectory of our lives is not solely determined by our accomplishments, just as failures do not dictate our future.
Bottom line: There is really no hack to succeed.
First and foremost, go ahead and ask yourself (maybe even write down) — what success means to you. Not how you want it to look in front of your friends or the world. It may get refined every now, continually adapting to your evolving self.…until you reach a point in time when you discover the true essence of happiness for yourself.
For some, it could mean owning a home by 30, sending your child to the best college, having a toned body, or seeing the world. It’s different for all of us.
It’s okay to not have everything go right despite our best efforts. What’s not okay is to quit trying.
Please don’t hesitate to figure out and explore different shades of you as you grow through life because there ain’t any rule book for it. Not for your neighbors, social media, or society. Do it for YOU.
Relax…You will figure out your career. You will find someone who loves you. You have a whole lifetime; time takes time. The only way to fail at life is to abstain.” — Johanna de Silentio
P.S. May you keep dreaming, hustling, creating, exploring, and believing whether you are in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and so on.
